Novel Excerpt
Genre
Mythical Fantasy, Fiction
Synopsis
When a strange virus begins to wipe out Rowan’s kind, she must run and hide in the far corner’s of the world to evade the man who wants her dead.
Milan had always been a city in which Rowan found herself at ease.
Throughout her adolescent life, Europe had opened itself up to Rowan, extending a flagrantly diverse hand toward her in the form of people, cities, and climates. The unfathomable vastness of the continent revealed endless hiding places and soft-pedalled spoors of which she found she could avail of with an unfluctuating ease. The years had fooled her into comfort, cushioning her fear of unfamiliar faces and the option to trust, until the only reminder of her past remained the wolves she encountered who had caught the virus, their bodies buried far and wide across every landmark she traversed. As she grew older and the wolf population grew scarce, Rowan failed to notice how lonely she had become in the absence of her own kind. They no longer lived unnoticed within the human population for fear of contracting certain death from an unsuspecting human carrier. What was left of their population after the third wave fled to the remote corners of the world in a desperate bid to salvage the last of their bloodlines. Only the brave few – like Rowan – would risk the cities, although for many of these wolves, bravery would be describing them in a favourably biased light. These were the wolves who had nothing to lose. These were the wolves who would kill you in cold blood for a hot meal provided to them by the witch or the warlock who put the bounty on your head. These wolves were not to be regarded with indifference.
Essay Snippet: A Letter to Company X on the True Meaning of ‘Entry-Level’
Genre
Non-Fiction
Synopsis
Why do companies nowadays advertising positions as entry-level, and then proceed to ask for 3-5 years of experience?
It has come to my attention, now that I am an active entry-level job seeker, that companies nowadays don’t seem to care about what you have achieved during school and university. The proof lies in every job posting I’ve seen thus far. They all have the same layout: same introduction, same company values, same role duties, and the same role requirements. The intro sucks you in, lets you successfully compare your skills to what they’re looking for. You’re drooling over the comp’s and ben’s (24 days annual leave plus quarterly bonuses, time in lieu, paid sick days, bike to work, a 4% contributive pension scheme!). Your pupils expand at the sight of the role duties – you can do all of that! Writing copy for leaflets, emails, websites, internal communications. It all sounds so do-able. There might be some basic graphic design in there, some WordPress-related tasks, etcetera. Nothing you haven’t done before, whether it be during college or as part of a side project. Your heart is beating a little faster in your chest as the bullet points go on. Point: Working as part of a team, reporting to the project manager. Point: Write and edit SEO friendly copy, working to tight deadlines week in, week out. Point: Research content and liaise with industry professionals to ensure accuracy of information.
Point. Point. Point.
Book Review Extract: ‘After’ – A Fan-fiction that Should Never Have Touched our Eyes.
Genre
Book Review, Non-Fiction
Synopsis
After (ha ha) a whopping 60+ hour read, I felt inclined to share my thoughts.
The list of flaws in Todd’s writing is endless, but if I were to start somewhere it would be at the door labelled ‘title’. The pilot book in the series is named After. This, I can accept. In terms of how the title of this first book relates chiefly to the overall narrative of the book itself, I am unsure as to what came before. After high school? After pitiful relationship with virgin side character? After rationality? Before university? Before pitiful relationship with narcissistic and subjectively unattractive main character? Before pure idiocy? The point in her life at which we meet Tessa Young is, by all means, insignificant (see opening quote). It could be suggested that the pilot title is referring to after the protagonists collided romantically, but that is the title of the second book; After We Collided. And when one ponders over the aftermath of collisions we assume destruction, breakdown, break-ups. Got you again, that is the title of the third book; After We Fell. In light of this,I would invite you to review strike one as I have outlined it above. Additionally, it has recently come to my attention that there will be a prequel released named Before. That will be all on titles.
Stage-Play Extract: ‘A Metaphor for Shitposting’
Genre
Stage-Play
Synopsis
Alveoli the Lung falls in love with Watermelon Elf Bar in an epic ‘Romeo and Juliette’ satiric piece.
ACT 1
SCENE 1
A WATERMELON ELF BAR (WEB) DRIFTS OUT ONTO HER BALCONY LATE AT NIGHT, LOOKING WISTFUL.
ALVEOLI THE LUNG APPEARS ON STAGE WITH A BOTTLE OF BEER IN HIS HAND (WHICH REMAINS IN HIS HAND FOR THE DURATION OF THE PLAY), WHEEZING AND PANTING; HE CLEARLY ISN’T IN GOOD SHAPE.
AN UNKNOWN CHARACTER STANDS AT THE FOOT OF THE BALCONY BEHIND A COUNTER ON HIS PHONE. WE DON’T YET KNOW THE PURPOSE OF HIM BEING THERE. ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STAGE THERE IS A LARGE TRASH CAN THAT REMAINS THERE FOR THE ENTIRETY OF THE PLAY.
ALVEOLI : But, soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and this Watermelon Elf Bar is the sun.
See, how she flashes her bright blue light! Six hundred hearty tokes may never be enough.
WEB : O Alveoli, Alveoli. Wherefore art thou, Alveoli?
Deny thy lung capacity and refuse thy long-term health. Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love, and I will no longer be a vape.
ALVEOLI (Aside) : Shall I hear more? Or shall I speak at this?
Memoir Excerpt: ‘Unexpected Joys and the Finnegan Boys’
Genre
Memoir, Non-Fiction
Synopsis
Growing up in a home where my mother fostered as an occupation, I shared some of the lives of nearly sixty foster children.
Gordon was twelve and existed both within and without the bubble of excitement that his younger brothers simmered in. It was as though he yearned to be oblivious to it all, but in reality he could not escape his own ability to understand significantly the plight of his mother and his siblings, and himself. He surprised us with a blatant lack of visible anger, instead channelling his inner turmoil into parenting his brothers and putting a brave foot forward on their behalf. But his posture was defeated when he walked into our living room and accepted that he was now a ward of the state, his eyes haunted by the unknown in which the wellbeing of his mother floated listlessly. Patricia accepted the placement because she didn’t want the Finnegan boys to be separated and, now, ten years later, she still has their picture framed on our kitchen wall. She has them framed on our kitchen wall because the Finnegan boys came to us for a weekend stay, and three years later they went home to a clean mother having given us the happiest years we have had collectively as a foster family.
Naoise McGuinness 